The earthquake you felt and the tremendous crack you heard break the sound barrier on Sunday at 3a was a great man falling. Sunday morning, Charles M. Tanner , husband, father, father-in-law, grandfather, brother-in-Christ, entered into a well-deserved rest with his Savior.
But I am starting at the end of the beginning. I really need to start at the beginning of the beginning so you can appreciate how my world—and yours—has been rocked.
In 1963, the year before I was born, Charles M. Tanner, at the time working in Hollywood, started Covenant Players. He wasn’t an out-of-work playwright or actor. He wasn’t bored or independently wealthy. He was called. God gave Charles (CMT) a radical vision: professionally-trained actors performing quality drama for the church, with a deep desire to turn the world upside right for Christ. Starting out with a handful of friends and three plays, Covenant Players went on the road. By the time I joined in 1983 (with about 90 others), there were about 100 teams on the road worldwide, performing 1500+ plays ranging in length from 30 seconds to full three-act productions in 66 countries in I don’t remember how many languages . . . It was, and is, a thing of beauty.
CMT’s dedication and vision for Covenant Players was and continues to be prophetic. He dared to craft plays—given by the Holy Spirit—that exhorted, challenged and pleaded with the Church to be the Bride She is called to be. In the 18 years I have been away from CP I have not found drama material that matches the now-3,000+ plays CMT wrote to be performed for church people, school teachers and children, prisoners, nursing home residents, military personnel and anyone else who was willing to watch.
But I want to talk about my former boss, mentor, father-figure and friend, Chuck.
The thing I loved most about Chuck was that he was fully human. And he enjoyed being a human. He was a visionary who was flawed (Dare I say stubborn? I dare.), a charmer who could be tough, a serious man who loved to laugh. He was discerning and biased, a brilliant thinker who loved giving gifts. He was comfortable in his skin and I rarely saw him equivocate (if ever). There is a phrase that reminds me of Chuck: “Sometimes wrong, but never in doubt!” He was steadfast in his call and passionate about the baby God had given him, this miracle called Covenant Players.
He wasn’t passionate about a thing or a corporation. He was passionate about God’s ministry and the people who made it happen. Twice a year he sent a diverse, random group of people out in teams of four or five people, with his plays, and trusted them to love one another for the five months they lived together, love and disciple (through drama and living their lives) the people and geographical area they served, and to love God “with all their hearts, all their souls and all their minds.” He knew that his plays and his life’s work would be evaluated—judged—based on how these Covenant Players lived their professional and personal lives. Having directed a ministry that I DIDN’T start, I know how hard it is to trust your baby to someone else . . . particularly once you get to know them! But he did, sometimes to his detriment. He did it because he was called and he was obedient. And he did love and enjoy people.
Chuck changed my life in profound ways that I am still discovering. He was the first man to look into my eyes and tell me that I could do anything I set my mind to do. He told me I would do it well and that he would give me every opportunity I wanted to take. Chuck believed in me and I began to believe in myself.
Over the course of my five years in CP, I performed about 500 roles over 5,000 times in the U.S., Europe and Africa (Nigeria and Cameroon) in two languages (French & English). I performed for as few as two and as many as a few thousand people. Those performances took place in comfortable American megachurches, freezing cold British Anglican churches, pungent French nursing homes, loud and echo-y Irish schools, in tents on military fields in Germany, through a translator in the bush of Africa.
I failed. I soared. I surprised myself. I changed people’s lives (“That character you played tonight . . . She is me. I have wanted to kill myself for a long time. Now I can’t. You have shown me how God really sees ME. I leave here a different woman. Thank you.). I made life-long friends (Hi Chrissy! Call me!!!). My life was changed—who knew there was more than one way to worship God? That one doesn’t automatically go to hell if one speaks in tongues? That when my van breaks down in Flemish-speaking Belgium in the middle of the night in the middle of winter I can catch (don’t tell my mom, but really I hitched) a ride with some Turkish men to the next town, find housing, a mechanic and new friends? I had no idea that I could take three years of German, two of Spanish, and learn and perform in FRENCH!
(Unforgettable phone conversation with CMT: “Kïrsten, I need you to go to France. I know I told you that you could go to Ireland. I know you really want to go there. But I need you in France. Will you go to France?” “Chuck, I don’t speak French!” “Well, Dear, you know I was just over there in Europe and I was amazed how quickly my French came back.” “Chuck, I don’t have any French that CAN come back . . . I only know some German and even less Spanish. I never took French.” “You are a smart capacitous woman. You’ll catch on quickly.” “Okay. Thank you for the . . . opportunity . . . ?”)
And here’s the thing. I learned French. I performed in French. I ministered in French.
I was also grateful that I got to know Chuck the husband, dad and granddad. It is said that grandchildren provide a second chance for grandparents and I really saw that with Chuck. He loved the girls very much. One of my favorite pictures of Chuck was taken by Mike Shalkey: Chuck has Jennifer in his arms and he is totally taken with her. It was a gift he gave Christina and Suzanne, how much he enjoyed the granddaughters.
Chuck was quite aware that Dorie made his life work. Chuck was a man of many contradictions and it must be said that he was not always easy. In all the time I was in their home, I knew there was great, deep and complicated love between, under and surrounding the two of them. They were committed to each other. I have reflected on that commitment many times over the past 23 years. Many times.
My favorite Tanner Manor memory: I was assigned to Christina’s (Chuck’s daughter) unit. Training was over and we were getting ready to drive to our mission area. We stayed at the house for a few nights while in the midst of preparations. I got up one morning and everyone was out (I thought ) except Dorie and me. I had breakfast—cereal with FIGS OFF THE TREE—with Dorie, chatting and resting with each other. Then I went to take a shower. For some reason, Rickie Lee Jones’s song “Chuck E’s in Love” was in my head and I started singing it. The bathroom has pretty good acoustics, and I had just been put on a music & drama unit, so I was feeling my oats. I came out of the bathroom with a towel on my head and belted out “Chuck E’s in lo-ove! He’s in love, he’s in love, he’s in love, he’s in lo-o-o-o-o-ove, oh yeah” and ran right into Chuck, who had to sit down he was laughing so hard!
Oh the joy of making Chuck laugh—great big smile, fantastic twinkling eyes and a wonderfully robust laugh!
My second favorite CMT memory: Every year there is a celebratory banquet in January for the whole of CP. It takes place on every continent. The US banquet is in LA. In the good old days (ha!) it was an all-night affair. It usually started around 6 or 7p and finished up around 11a or noon the next day. By the time we got out of the gym, we were pretty punchy. The routine was to grab some In and Out Burger, go back to the house, pry off all the make up, crack off the hairspray, peel off the fancy clothes and HIT THE HAY. Sometime around 6-7-8p, Chuck would start knocking on doors: “I’m going to (fill in his restaurant du jour). Want to come?” We would drag ourselves out and have a bite. Then head back to the house, settle into the front sitting room and debrief/glow/tell stories. Chuck had amazing stamina. I mean, really he wasn’t human. But this night . . . Suzanne, Chris and I are chatting and laughing and I look over and see this, from the man who has been razzing me about sleeping too much:
He was relaxed in our presence enough that he let down and took a snooze.
I loved that so much.
But my favorite picture was taken by my friend Joe Friedman (found at end of post). It reminds me of the end of a simple, fairly short conversation I had with Chuck in which I told him something very painful. It was just the two of us at the kitchen table. He put down his paper and gave me his full attention. I told him, in tears, that someone had betrayed me and I didn’t know what to do. He reassured me of his love (“Well, my Dear, you know I love you.) He comforted me. And of course, he invited me (there is always room for you back on the road, my Dear. You know I think this is where you belong!”). He looked at me for a moment, shook his head sadly, patted my hand and went back to his paper. The pictures isin my living room. It tells a story.
I have to close by saying something about Chuck’s plays, because they are so much his essence. His plays are brilliant. They are smart, witty, rich, complicated, flirtatious, stunning, heartbreaking, confusing, priceless, lingering, full of love, hope, faith, light and dark . . . I am honored to have learned them and performed them.
I am unspeakably honored, grateful and indescribably blessed to have known and loved, and been loved by, their writer, Charles M. Tanner . . . Chuck.
And truly, this day, Chuck is in Love, with his Savior.
* * *
Good-bye
By Christine Dente
One day you went running on a grassy field
Too few came following
Your spirit flew this earthy place
And so with heavy hearts, yet a certain sense of joy
We say good-bye
*
And we are left to question
What do we do with this?
A day we all expect, yet unexpected, it always is
How beautiful the hope of those who know
Where they will go
*
He set us free
So we need not be afraid
We need not stay longer than the number of our days
Let us love
Mourn and suffer for His sake
Until the day it dawns on us when we must say
Good-bye
*
See, we’re the ones who wonder
We're the ones who live
To read and write and ponder ‘til our eyes begin to dim
How glorious the joy of those who go
They already know
*
He set us free
So we need not be afraid
We need not stay longer than the number of our days
Let us love
Mourn and suffer for His sake
Until the day it dawns on us when we must say
Good-bye
*
On a day like today my heart is bound a little less
To the tight and tiring vanities of life
Like a butterfly emerging, struggling to be free
I feel the lift, I sense the give it takes
To send me flying from this earthy place
*
He set us free
So we need not be afraid
We need not stay longer than the number of our days
Let us love
Mourn and suffer for His sake
Until the day it dawns when we must say
Good-bye
Tears in our eyes, we say good-bye, too soon to fly, we wonder why, we say
good-bye
**
© 2002 Mighty Grey Music/Lil’ Yella House Music/Dayspring Music, LLC (BMI)
Thank you, my friend.
I will see you on the other side of the Registrar.
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