Pete, on a business trip, is in Florida schmoozing for a living while Thad and I have hunkered down. We had dinner with some friends the other night. They have a little baby who is nine months old and she is delightful! Thad is very intrigued: what is this thing that cries sometimes and keeps trying to touch me and take what I have?
I miss Pete when he is on a trip, but I have to admit to being enough of an introvert that I do relish the few days of alone time (outside of the toddler that lives with me!). When Thad is asleep there is a quiet and a rest in knowing that I am (as much as a mom ever is) "off duty." I am free to exercise a little self-care.
I come from a family of women who recoil at those words: self-care. My mom's parents, grandparents and great-grandparents were farmers who worked hard at making their farm a success. For the women, it meant getting up at dawn to get breakfast on, get the kids up and ready for school (and care for the pre-schoolers), pack lunches for the men heading out to the field, get dinner started, put the house to order, do the breakfast dishes and do any outside chores that were considered "women's work": feed the chickens, table scraps to the hogs, work the garden, etc., etc., etc.
My mom and her siblings all had farm chores, too. There were animals to be cared for, lawns to be mowed, equipment to be fixed and cleaned, eggs to be hunted (and washed [ugh] and crated), etc., etc., etc.
By the time I came along, the farm had changed a lot and I really didn't have many farm chores. Feeding a few animals, mowing the lawns (extensive but great tanning opportunity!), and anything else that needed doing. However, the work ethic was passed down all the same. "Idle hands are the devil's tools."
If ever you want something done, or you need help moving or setting up house or building a barn, call my family. (And really, you can call any Iowan!) They can come in and get a whole house unboxed and set up in a day. It is a thing of beauty.
I can't recall my grandmother ever just sitting and doing nothing. Even while sitting and watching television, she was knitting or crocheting something for the family or a friend. She kept a very clean house (and my great-grandmother kept an immaculate house). She did the farm finances. She cared for her mother and her mother-in-law. She raised seven kids with an age spread of 17 years.
I am grateful for this way of life because I know I can do anything that has to be done. I have an amazing amount of reserve. I know how to work through pain for a greater good. I know how to see a job to completion when it simply has to be done. I know the value of the gift of a job well-done.
I wish there had been a little more balance, though. God does call us to rest one-seventh of the time. I find it hard to grasp that people actually prefer my presence to my baked goods. My (self-) worth gets tied up in what I accomplish rather than who I am.
This year, I am going to rest more. I am going to sit and look into people's eyes and listen to their hearts with my whole being. I am going to enjoy people.
A few years ago I heard a pastor say that he had never heard a person on their deathbed wish they had worked more. It was always a wish for more time with people.
I am going to make my wish come true this year.
Polly & (the late) Oliver Rogers (Gretel has joined the household, but I haven't received a Pug Announcement and picture yet.)
Surely I will find a church that loves people and has a minister who preaches soul-inspiring, intellectually challenging, well-organized sermons--Yea!
Posts
