From: Kirsten Christianson
Sent: Tuesday, May 20, 2008 7:49 AM
Subject: Stroke/Aneurysm Recovery or "You Are So Lucky to Be Alive"
Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, cards, e-mail and phone calls over the past three weeks (it seems like three years to me). A lot of people have asked for an update and so I thought I would send out another note. If this is your first update (I have had limited access to my address book), you can get the story from the beginning by reading from the bottom! I won’t send out anymore updates unless you ask, but I ask for your continued prayers. I am still not full time on e-mail and phone, so if you contact me please don’t despair! I will get back to you!
I have wanted to send this out for about one week, but I have wrestled with the content. There are two components to this recovery: the physical and the psychospiritual. To say that the past month has been life changing just begins to describe the experience.
I was released from the hospital on Friday, April 25. I was so grateful to get sprung! I was discharged with a prescription for Plavix, an anti-platelet medication, and instructions to go home and do nothing. Bo. Ring. I was released into the care of my family who have followed doctor’s orders with frightening precision.
So for the next two weeks Thad and I spent our days at Uncle Matt & Aunt Bea’s house. We were dropped off by Daddy in the morning and picked up in the evening. We are so grateful to Aunties Bea and Julie, and Cousins Naomi and Abigail for the visits, extraordinary care, meals, and servanthood. The Family Christianson would have been up a creek without a BOAT let alone a paddle without them!
I had a follow-up ophthalmology appointment about 10 days ago. Dr. Terry dilated my eyes and took about 30 pictures of my eyeballs (amazing). He showed me four pea-sized areas of damage in the right eyeball. Now that he has the pictures, he will be able to track progress when he follows me every six weeks over the next six months.
Last week was my first follow-up appointment with my neurology team (I have a neurology team!). Dr. Shah showed me several video clips of the deployment of the stents during the angiogram procedure. It was fascinating and also made me a little woozy. The three stents start at just below my jaw line and continue up behind and almost to the top of my right ear, stopping right at the base of my brain. I don’t feel them and the soreness is now gone.
The news was hopeful. My recovery is progressing. I had worried that the strokes, the aneurysms and the stents would prevent me from attempting to have one more baby. While the neuro team didn’t make any promises, they said that they would move up the six-month angiogram to three months (end of July) and if everything looked good, we could then try for one more baby. I will have to stay on Plavix and the aspirin for the pregnancy. So at least I have some hope!
Physically, I still tire quickly. I think part of that is the hospitalization, part of it is being post-operation, and part of it is that I lost so much blood during the last angiogram. The neuro team has released me to regular activity. The biggest change is that I am to be very protective of my neck. Right now that is no problem because I am a little paranoid!
I am still having issues with my eyes and last night had a particularly scary bout of impaired eyesight. For the first time it was in the left eye as well as the right. So I am waiting to hear back from the neuro team and the ophthalmologist.
Having said all of the above, I am overwhelmed with gratitude to God for my life. As I was riding down to the University Hospital in the ambulance, I knew I was ready to see God; I had no qualms or regrets. But I also knew that there were several people to whom I still wanted to say things, and I didn’t want to leave Pete and Thad. I wasn’t ready. So I told God that I trusted Him and if this was the day, this was the day, but I would love a chance to love people better and longer before dying.
Honestly, I feel the psychospiritual recovery is the bigger issue. I wrestle at times with fear and it can feel overwhelming. I am trying to spend a lot of quiet time reading and listening for God’s Word. I think it will all take time.
The biggest epiphany I’ve had: Nothing has changed. I’ve changed, but the truth of my life has not. It’s just I am more keenly aware that God does know the number of my days and I do not. John Piper preached a sermon a number of years ago, while he was in the midst of his cancer treatment, entitled “Don’t Waste Your Cancer.” I have taken that to heart, offering the strokes and aneurysms to God and looking at this time as an opportunity God has given me. It’s an invitation to join Christ in His sufferings and to enjoy the sweet fellowship that really can only be found in such circumstances.
I really cannot thank everyone enough for all of the support I have received. Thank you seems so inadequate, but I trust you will receive my gratitude in all its meaning and strength.
With gratitude and joy,
Kϊrsten
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
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